“I believe the greatest gift I can conceive of having from anyone is to be seen, heard, understood, and touched by them. The greatest gift I can give is to see, hear, understand, and touch another person.”
– Virginia Satir
When people “fall in love” they tune into each other on the same frequency that they tuned into parents and siblings in their families of origin. They become exquisitely hypersensitive to each other. People recreate the emotional contexts they lived in as children so they can maintain those old familiar feelings about themselves. Couples develop skill in reinforcing the sometimes elusive themes of families of origin and try to shape each other to answer the unfulfilled needs which each partner brings to the relationship.
When I work with couples I do not take sides. My role is to track what is happening between them. I watch the shifts in feeling and look for repetitive patterns. When couples recognize how each can put the other into negative states automatically they can shift out of their pattern together and create positive change.
In our work together we track hypnotic shifts and tease out the invisible patterns of each individual’s family imprinting. We then work with these imprints and help couples transform their hypnotic responsiveness from a childhood trap into a therapeutic tool for changes in how they see, hear, feel and touch each other.
This may seem a big order to some, but in even the most painful moments people can reach deeper into themselves and find what is true for each of them. And with the truth they can find for themselves they come to clarity about who they are and what they want.
“Love is the exchange of vulnerability.” – William Masters, MD
Learn more about my book, “Loving in the Here and Now”
You are welcome to call me at 212-873-4557 for an initial confidential phone conversation. We can talk about what you would like to achieve in therapy and I can tell you how I work. There is no charge and no obligation on your part. All ethnic and sexual identities are welcome.